


Our weakest moments

by Venus_Belfire



Category: LGBT - Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Disease, F/F, Homosexual, Illness, Last words, Letter, Love Story, M/M, Original work - Freeform, Sad Story, Short Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-24 01:48:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13800798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Venus_Belfire/pseuds/Venus_Belfire
Summary: Life always catches us at our weakest moments - you where stunning, charismatic even. We had a chance, in silly little moments. It wasn’t until I risked loosing it all I realised how hard I clung to you; to us.It’s not long and explains itself.





	Our weakest moments

**Author's Note:**

> Unedited work, one shot. Song to listen to if you choose while reading: visions of Gideon - Sufjan Stevens
> 
> Quick disclaimer: I was tired when I wrote this and English is my second language - sorry if phrases did not translate correctly but I plan to fix it in the future.
> 
> Also this is somehow the happiest thing I have wrote in ages and it’s literally the goodbyes of someone dying young.

“Answer honestly, do you love me?”

I remember when I first saw you. You where so unreal, singing my favourite song. I wish I had known in that first moment the unpayable debt I would owe you. Honestly my life had never been much of a story to tell, and love was a concept I only saw in 80s movies. The first time it ever even crossed my mind was that day we got caught in the rain, and you froze and looked at me with the most I suprised expression before grabbing my hand and splashing through puddles, running for shelter - live music from a near restaurant accompanying your laughs.

Maybe if I wasn’t dying, we would have made it. I know it. When you are with me; even someone who hated music.. they would still love the melody in your laugh. 

It is such little things that make me wish I could freeze time and just look at you without it being strange. To take in everything about you - I can’t take my eyes off you. If I was asked to define love, I would be at a loss for words. Could it be described as the way the sun hits your hair in the mornings? Every small moment that I wish I could live in forever? The moment of cold silence after your heart shatters? Or maybe it’s all of that - every complex and confusing moment that builds life into such a desirable thing. 

Why is it life, much like autumn leaves, is so much more beautiful when it’s about to die. 

I felt scared to tell you, but you could already tell. And you held me. You knelt in front of my seat and wrapped your arms around my middle and held me. I feel we always knew it was a lost battle, but chose not to admit it. The beginning of the end in some sick sense. You’ve made me happy - I’ve never been so happy you know. We lived in a kingdom as loving and playful as the tide. I remember wondering if we did still hold on, what would happen to you and me? But I can tell as much as you try and hide it. You won’t admit you have fallen in love, and I know you have. And somehow you, that persistent kid, has gotten to me too. That’s what’s happened huh?

I asked you to come with me and watch the city come alive in the night, and even though we couldn’t have everything, we had that night. That one night. 

My hands almost always shake, even this is hard to write. But it mostly makes simple things like taking a nice photo a challenge, but I can’t stop going through my camera roll to make those moments last a little longer, to remind myself that even as everything changes, there was this one time, this beautiful moment, where things where okay. 

Somehow, my hands never shook when they where in yours. 

There where points where I felt so cracked and broken that I didn’t even feel whole anymore - like I was half the person I had once been and ever could have been. But somehow, in some weird and wonderfully cliche way you made me feel whole again, my life feel alive again, even if I have now kissed you for the last time. You leave me speechless but I guess it’s better to have a heart without words, than words without a heart. You know it’s not easy for me to talk about my feelings, but in summary; can’t regret a single moment I’ve had with you, because if those extra days weren’t with you, I wouldn’t want them.

Remember when I stayed at yours because I didn’t want to be alone the night before surgery, and you opened your arms for me on your bed - inviting me into them. I asked if you could keep me close, could you always love me like this. Remember how I fell and your fingers traced shapes onto my back. You asked me if I was going to leave you. I told you I didn’t want to. That even if I leave this illness and this world, I’ll hold onto you until we meet again.

Your hands found their way to my hair. 

I hate that I knew that would be my last time there, in your arms. And I felt part of myself breaking away and finding a home in you. 

And I let it. 

I am so happy for the other me; in another lifetime, that will get to go to bed with you every night. Life has ways of catching you in your weakest moments. 

I doubt heaven could be much better than this.


End file.
